Ah, the age old question- To be a gold digger or not to be a gold digger. Thank you Kanye West for helping us weed out the masses. But seriously. What constitutes a gold digger?
I recently spoke with a friend who was conflicted about her own beliefs regarding this topic. She dates a "successful" man and receives flack from her friends who label her as a gold digger. She showed interest in him prior to knowledge of his assets, yet is still perceived as a "gold digger" by others.
This made me think about my own beliefs and what I value in a relationship. Typical of most women I want a man who can provide for me and is successful at whatever he does. Does this make me a gold digger?
There is so much area shaded grey when it comes to this subject. If a woman posseses the wealth and sucess she desires in a mate, it makes her choosy. But if that same woman without those traits desires similar, she's digging for gold?
 |
| No skills 2 pay the bills |
In my opinion, a smart woman first builds her own assets and success and then aims to mirror and/or supersede her achievements in her counterpart. Depending on a man for everything is not a good look. It is my belief however, that the man should be the provider. If I make $150,000 a year and my husband makes half, how can he provide for me?
Yall can call me a gold digger any day, but let's be honest. Love doesn't pay the bills. Finance is the #1 reason for divorce in America. So why add fuel to the fire? Putting yourself in a situation to financially struggle only sets you up for more problems down the line. So why not guard against it the best you can by pairing yourself with someone who is not only financially sound but also smart with their money?
I once heard someone say that it is fun to struggle and be in love. Come again? The idea may be cute, but no one wants to live a life of poverty. That may be extreme, but the idea still stands. Love + Broke = may not be enough.
 |
| Gold Digger? |
I hate to rain on some people's proverbial parade, but sometimes love isn't always enough. There's an element of functionality devoid of love that is necessary to make a relationship work. While cliche, but true- Love doesn't pay the bills honey. It doesn't pay off your student loans, put food on the table, or pay little Johnny's college tuition. There are situations only hard work and a solid savings account can tackle.
Now don't get me wrong. There are so many people who overlook potential in a future suitor. You may be broke, but why? Are you in medical school? Are you creating a business plan? Are you conducting research on the next big cure? These are not reasons to dis and dismiss. Beside every good man is a good woman! I do think however, long term commitment, i.e. marriage should be reserved for when at least one party is financially stable.
And amidst all this gold digging gander let's not forget that happiness is most important. I don't however, see this as a contradiction to my previous statements. Because when your love and finances are in order, happiness is in closer reach. Money and power come and go, but unconditional, unadulterated, pure love is the most valuable thing in the world.
So enough of that. What really is a gold digger? Is it someone who only dates wealthy men? Or is it someone who gives up the goods for the gold? Maybe it's someone who wants their man to drive a BMW. Or maybe it's someone who is smart about the stability of their financial future. Should a woman feel guilty for choosing to date a man with money? What do you think? Share your thoughts below or tweet me!
 |
| Is this true ladies? |
A gold digger is a woman who gets with a wealthy man with reasons of becoming finacially stable. Most people think "gold diggers" are hoes but in reality they have their game so tight that they beat the image of being hoes. Most gold diggeres don't sleep wit a lot of men and even pay on the first date so men won't think they are out for their money. Once they get the affection and dedication they they have the money.. So even in a way gold diggers are not bad, just smart woman who are driven to become finacially stable. Now woman who are bad however are groupies and hoes, who for the most part think that sleeping with every man will get them the prince charming and house theory. The fact is men value money and woman value sex. If a man gives up all his money to every woman he is a "trick" and probally not finacially stable. If a woman has sex with a lot of men then she is a "hoe" -or a relationship vet. If it came down to it I would respect. Gold digger
ReplyDeleteGreat post and interesting perspective. I was actually going to do a similar post soon.
ReplyDeleteTo me a gold digger is someone that dates or marries someone else based solely on what the other person has or can give them. A good way to tell if someone is a gold digger or not is to take away some of the money or go through a rough patch where you can't be as generous as you were in the past.
Is the person still by your side? Will they remain loyal and committed to you not because of your possessions, but because of your character and the fact that they are in it for the long haul.
I am all about your spouse or significant other being able to provide, but will you (not you Ciara :)- I’m saying you in the plural sense as in whoever is reading this) be there for better or for worse...richer or poorer.