Is Dating, Courtship, and True Love Extinct?
 |
| Are women fighting an uphill battle? |
Is chivalry dead? Word on the street is that women killed it. Some believe our species have become too available, accessible, and accommodating to the opposite sex. While I'd have to argue that this is not true for every situation, it does make me wonder. Is dating, courtship, and old school love extinct? Why don't men hold the door open anymore or write love letters? The evolution of technology has turned dating and courtship into text messages, skype dates, and Facebook statuses. But who is to blame? Technology or women?
Gone are the days when people simply courted each other. To hear older people talk about courtship is hilarious but simultaneously insightful. Men and women didn't sleep together on the first date, they spent time talking on the phone, writing love letters, and spending quality time with each other. Furthermore they met each other's families and both parties got to know each other with the intention of marriage. Where have these days gone?
Ok so not everybody is ready to get married. In fact it is my belief that until you are older and established, marriage should be the farthest thing from your mind. I don't however see the point in dating someone whom you wouldn't consider marriage material. And if this is the case, how come more "couples" don't spend more time getting to know each other in a non-physical arena?
But let's try to understand why women are now killing chivalry. Have we become too accepting of the change in times and romanticism or lack thereof? Do we just accept the fact that men are doing less and less or is it our responsibility as women to hold them to a higher standard? It makes sense that anyone will not exceed more than what they are expected. But I can't help but believe that men should play some role in this too. Why don't more of them exhibit more passion, care, and genuine interest in the woman they are seeing?
Ok, so let's not turn this into a man bash. I would have to play devil's advocate and argue that I have seen and experienced some of the most romantic and thoughtful gestures a guy could do. But was it because the man genuinely wanted to or felt pressured to by a/my/women's standards? I would like to think that chivalry, courtship, and romanticism is NOT dead because I see it everyday. A man who has true love, respect, and genuine interest in a woman will show it.
Ultimately a man/woman will do what they want to do. Just like there are sleazeballs in the world, there are gentlemen and ladies with class, respect, and appreciation for the opposite sex. My inkling is that much of how we treat the opposite sex has to do with how our parents raised us to. Many men and women grew up without good examples of genuine love, mutual respect, and healthy relationships. Thus they are incapable of showing this to others. I don't think that courtship or chivalry is dead, but I think if you desire it you can't expect it from someone who is incapable. If you find yourself wanting more from a relationship communicate this to the other person. Those who are willing to put forth the effort whether they know how to or not are keepers. Those that don't, well, they don't deserve your time. Sometimes you have to teach each other how to love. Respect should be received but also has to be given. Look at yourself and what you give out and if you feel that you are not getting a proper return, seek to change it or walk away.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)